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Stuck at home? Anxious about an uncertain future? Worried about your family? The pandemic is a stressful and emotionally difficult situation for anyone to deal with. Read more to learn how to protect your family’s mental well-being during this unprecedented time.
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Kylee RyersContributor Children in the Philippines have been racking up around eight hours of screen time since the commencement of the pandemic, much more than the one hour per day recommended by the World Health Organization for those aged two to five. If you thought that the issue was exclusively limited the commencement of the pandemic,d to children, think again. Adults, too, spend over 10 hours looking at a screen every day, exposing themselves to the many risks of sedentarism—including obesity and diabetes. If you are ready to make a change and you are looking for ways to get more active alongside your children, the following ideas may inspire you.  Photo by Alex Green from Pexels The Psychological Benefits of Nature Fitness activities such as dance, yoga, and aerobics will all help boost your family’s cardiovascular fitness. However, as much as possible, aim to incorporate the Great Outdoors in your chosen activities. Study after study has shown the powerful psychological effect that time outside can have. One Cornell University study, for instance, showed that spending just 10 minutes in a natural setting significantly lowers levels of the stress hormone, cortisol. Other studies have shown that nature can enhance focus, soothe anxiety, and lift the mood. Consider time spent outdoors to be a major investment in your family’s psychological wellbeing. Researchers have also found that kids need to engage in adventures like tree climbing, and other activities that involve freedom and testing one’s own resilience.  Photo by Vidal Balielo Jr. from Pexels Making it an Adventure If you told your children that you were taking them dolphin watching, snorkeling, or deep-sea fishing, most would probably be excited about the chance to get into the water and come into close contact with sea life. A good idea if deep sea fishing appeals is to hire a fishing charter, so that experienced experts can help you keep an eye on the weather, give you safety tips, and take you places where you are likely to make a good catch. Of course, you can simply swim alongside fish and other marine creatures instead. If so, make sure to take key equipment such as snorkels, sunscreen, and (if you will be on a private boat) life jackets.  Photo by Yulianto Poitier Focusing on the Destination Children can rebel against parents if they feel like they are being wrenched away from their beloved screens. Therefore, although it is helpful for parents to explain the negative health that too much screen time can have, they should ideally frame family activities as a new, fun activity that will involve a new or interesting destination. The Philippines is full of beautiful green areas and hiking trails that are a relatively short drive from Manila. These include the Masungi Georeserve, Purro (Rizal), Batulao (Batangas), Manalmon (Bulacan), and Pinatubo. Get your kids excited about the road trip and visit to these natural spots, aiming to bring cameras (instead of phones) to capture the beauty of the sites you visit and share them on Instagram. Prepare a yummy picnic with their favorite foods or book a meal at a scenic spot with appealing views. If you are concerned about how much time you and your children are spending indoors hooked to technology, start making plans that will get you moving. All fitness activities are beneficial, but outdoor workouts are particularly beneficial to your mental health as well. Focus on fun rather than duty, and on your time together as a gift rather than a chore. Children won’t miss their smartphone or tablet. They’ll be too busy and engaged in hiking, swimming, snorkeling, and discovering the beauty of the world around them. About the AuthorKylee Ryers spent a decade working as a personal trainer, but has now returned to her first love of writing. She enjoys contributing to a range of online and print publications on topics relating to fitness and wellbeing. When she’s not writing, she tries to practice what she preaches, and loves spending time in the great outdoors with her husband and two daughters.
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In partnership with Hello Doctor PH Healthy family relationships are what make a society strong. When every member of the family feels loved, supported, and respected, they are happier, they function better, and contribute more to society. What are the qualities of a healthy family relationship? Check this list.  for more similar articles, visit Hello Doctor PHFoundations of Happy, Healthy Relationships Healthy Family Relationships Feel Safe Every person needs to feel seen, heard, understood, and accepted. This is what makes them feel they have a reason for being and have a purpose in life. The family should be the people that provide that respect and appreciation. Tips Respect everyone, even the youngest member of your family. Listen to their thoughts. Assure your family that you trust them and they can trust you. You can do this by being dependable, reliable, and fair. Constant and Open Communication. The home is where families should feel they can be truly honest. Children should be able to count on their parents and their siblings to listen to them and not be judged or ridiculed. Spouses should be able to share their fears and goals and know that they will be supported no matter what. Because everyone is unique and different—even in families—conflict between members will arise. Parents may fight, siblings will squabble, parents and children will argue. This is perfectly normal. What matters is the way you, as a family, deal with these conflicts. There should always be respect. Members should feel safe to say whatever they think or feel without fearing rejection or painful repercussions. Healthy families constantly talk and communicate with each other. They share everything from what happened to their day to their hopes and fears. Every member knows they can be honest because they have love and respect in their home. Tips
Healthy Family Relationships are the Result of Commitment Every member needs to know that the family’s well-being is the priority. Children can rest in the knowledge that their parents are committed to each other and to them. Spouses feel safe and loved when they know that their marriage comes first, no matter what. Loyalty and commitment are the foundation of good family relationships. It is also important that a family share chores and responsibilities. This is what establishes your family as a unit—helping each other to function. Every member must feel that:
Tips
 Healthy Family Relationships are Openly Affectionate Touch and words of love build everyone up. A healthy family shows affection to each other, may it be through hugs or high fives, or gifts or services. Love and affection can also be spoken or written. These regular displays of kindness and thoughtfulness are proof of love. Tips
Healthy Family Relationships Protect their Members in Tough Times When a family is strong, every member becomes resilient when times get tough. When people know they have a safe home, and when they are loved and supported, they can handle negativity, problems, conflict, and stress better. In particular, grief and loss can be a very emotional period wherein people need support. Everyone goes through difficult times, but healthy family relationships offer protection because the members can cope better. They have a strong support system that makes them adapt positively to whatever life throws their way. Tips
Key Takeaways The dynamics of a family are unique, and it is important most especially for the parents to build healthy relationships with the respective members of their families. By being compassionate, thoughtful, and supportive, parents can significantly help their children to seek and build healthy relationships of their own should they decide to start their own families. Hello Health Group does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Sources
Healthy Families, https://beyou.edu.au/fact-sheets/relationships/healthy-families, Accessed July 30, 2020 Building strong family relationships, https://www.udel.edu/canr/cooperative-extension/fact-sheets/building-strong-family-relationships, Accessed July 30, 2020 Families First-Keys to Successful Family Functioning: Communication, https://www.pubs.ext.vt.edu/350/350-092/350-092.html#:~:text=Healthy%20families%20communicate%20their%20thoughts,spouse%2C%20parent%2Dchild).&text=An%20essential%20aspect%20of%20effective,to%20what%20others%20are%20saying., Accessed March 31, 2021 Positive relationships for families: how to build them, https://raisingchildren.net.au/grown-ups/family-life/routines-rituals-relationships/good-family-relationships, Accessed March 31, 2021 Family Relationships, https://child.unl.edu/family-relationships#:~:text=Commitment%2D%20Members%20of%20strong%20families,accepting%20%2D%20putting%20your%20family%20first., Accessed March 31, 2021 #InTouchStoriesofHopeBy: Patricka Coliflores VillaseñorIn Touch Mental Health Volunteer When I was a baby, my Nanay was working so she had my aunt take care of me. I loved her so much, I called her my Mama. When Nanay would fetch me from their house, I would hide and refuse to go home. I would go around, telling everyone that I am my Mama’s daughter. I had two wonderful mothers. Life was good. Several months ago, I lost my Mama. When I heard the news, the first words I uttered to my ate were: “Kay nano?” — Waray words that meant “Why?”. Absolutely nothing made sense at that moment. As far as I knew, Mama was healthy. She was supposed to live a long life, long enough so that she could see us be successful, long enough so I could make my promise of building her a beautiful house a reality. I never expected to lose her so early. It happened during the start of the lockdown. I was in Bulacan, Mama was in Samar. All I wanted was to see her for the last time - but I couldn’t. I didn’t know how to grieve. How do you grieve for someone you deeply love when you couldn’t even be with her? Nothing felt real to me. There was no body to hold or weep to. In lieu of being in her funeral, all I got were photos of her inside the casket, sent through Facebook. It broke my heart. My Mama was dead, and I couldn’t even see her for the last time. All I could do was cry. It was really dark for days. I would find myself weeping in the most unusual spaces. I would be washing the dishes, and I would just tear up. I was a Clinical Psychology student so I knew about grief in theory — but being in the middle of all that was difficult. I reached out to friends. I talked to them about how great a person my mama was. It helped knowing that although my mama was gone, I could still share her goodness and lightness to the rest of the world. I also knew I had to forgive myself for not being with her for the last time, and to accept that when the travel restrictions are eased and I could finally go home, she would not be there anymore. It helped remembering the last time I was with her. It was a good day. I treated Mama and my cousins to lunch. It was far from the grand things I have always wished to give her when I become successful — but it was all I had. And mama was happy. Even now, I still find myself feeling the pain as if it were all new. And maybe I would carry this pain with me for the rest of my life — but greater than this pain are my Mama’s love and memory. My mama who had a wonderful singing voice. My mama who loved karaoke so much, she would never let other people hold the mic. My mama who adored roses. My mama who liked sitting outside the house and just watching people pass by. My mama who used to tell me stories so I could fall asleep. Her love is one of the lightest feelings in the world — and I would carry that with me too. Always. A nice day with Mama and my cousins.
#InTouchStoriesofHope aims to bring you mental and emotional relief during the COVID-19 pandemic through the inspiring stories and perspectives of In Touch community of counselors, volunteers, partners, and clients.
Pat Villaseñor is a second year MS Clinical Psychology student at De La Salle University. For her undergraduate degree, she took up BS Biology from the University of the Philippines Manila. She has a diverse set of academic interests including community mental health, interculturally-competent care for refugees and migrants, and botany. When not studying, she pursues her passion for film by joining workshops and watching movies. Sometimes, she also bakes when stressed out. Pat is also an In Touch Mental Health Volunteer. Her ultimate dream is to become a clinical psychologist. And what you can do to help your children cope well#InTouchStoriesofHopeBy: Joyce TalagMental Health Volunteer Since the enrollment season started in June, I have encountered many parents who are extremely worried about how their children will cope with the changes brought about by the COVID-19 pandemic. Online communities are ablaze with petitions for tuition fee reduction and mounting concerns on well-being and safety. Privately, parents open up about their fears and frustrations about the uncertainty of the situation. Emotions can run high during these times. I recently talked to Dr. Sue Estanislao, a counseling psychologist at In Touch Community Services, to seek solutions on behalf of parents like me who are caught up in the midst of a critical turning point in the global education system, and I was surprised by what she revealed to me in the beginning of our conversation. “Children are like their parents’ mirrors,” Dr. Sue explained. “They reflect how we respond to crisis.” Dr. Sue draws this conclusion from her nearly three decades of counseling experience and research as an academic service faculty at the De La Salle University Manila. According to her, children are generally more resilient than what adults give them credit for. They know how to cope through their own language and play; they can distract and soothe themselves. Because of the Internet, most children now are more informed and sensitive to what is going on around them. The latter includes the behaviors that their parents exhibit during this crisis, which children have the tendency to model. Dr. Sue alludes to a popular Filipino saying, “Ang maling gawain ng matatanda nagiging tama sa mga bata. (The mistakes committed by adults become right in the eyes of children.)” “But these are unusual times!” I told Dr. Sue. Parents are increasingly stressed having to work, tutor, and guide their children all at the same time while in quarantine. “The key is mindful parenting,” Dr. Sue replied citing mindfulnessexercises.com with a smile then walked me through a simple 5-step strategy for parents who are experiencing stressful situations now.
1 - STOP what you're thinking and doing
This needs no explaining. Just decide to stop and take a moment. 2 - BREATHE and focus on your body Breathe using the diaphragm, counting through four while inhaling and six while exhaling through the nose, and making three repetitions of the cycle. Another variation is the 4-7-8 breathing technique, which is to inhale for four counts, hold the breath for seven counts, and exhale for eight counts through the mouth in a whistle. (If you want to see how diaphragmatic works, look at this demo video by another In Touch counselor.) 3 - NOTICE what’s happening in your mind and body Observe the thoughts and sensations in your body since you stopped and started breathing. What emotions are you experiencing? Are these static or changing? 4 - REFLECT on your hotspots Some helpful questions to consider: a) What time of the day have you become emotionally unavailable to your children? b) What could be your emotional triggers to your reactions? Is there a story to the experience you are having? 5 - RESPOND accordingly and appropriately to the situation Using what you have learned about yourself and your situation in the last step, what would be the most appropriate way for you to respond? Make a conscious decision on how to respond. Living in borderless worlds where there are no longer boundaries in time, space, and the roles that parents have to perform can make parents become so reactive that they end up feeling exhausted. Practicing SBNRR technique on a regular basis until it becomes a habit may just be the key to guiding children through the COVID-19 crisis and the adjustments that everyone has to make.
#InTouchStoriesofHope aims to bring you mental and emotional relief during the COVID-19 pandemic through the inspiring stories and perspectives of In Touch community of counselors, volunteers, partners, and clients.
Dr. Susana “Sue” A. Estanislao is both a Registered Guidance Counselor and a Registered Psychologist. She has been in the counseling profession for nearly three decades now helping children, adolescents, and adults deal with life challenges and mental health conditions. During her 40 years of employment at the De La Salle University Manila, she served as a Counselor, Administrator, Counselor Supervisor, Assistant Researcher, Evaluation and Testing Coordinator, Consultant, and a Teaching Faculty. She is now connected with the San Pablo Colleges, Laguna and St. Scholastica’s College, Manila where she teaches Psychological Assessment, Counseling Theories, Psychotherapy, Group Dynamics, and related subjects. Her research work focuses on Managing Psychological Distress, Depression, Suicide Prevention, Resilience, Counseling and Career Development, among others. (Mental Health Worksheets for Parents to Support Children when Coping with Stress) By: Paula Diaz, Ivana MabunayChild Psychologists Infographics by: Alyssa Dar JuanIntern Counselor
This new normal may be giving parents more time at home but it can also be demanding for them in trying to balance work, child-care and self-care. It has now become a daily challenge to manage their own worries while keeping their children under control. Wouldn’t it be great to have simple helpful resources that parents can easily pull-out and work on with their children? Materials that can help parents to get their children more involved while teaching them important self-care and stress management techniques?
Here are fun activity sheets you can easily download and print out. These worksheets work best when you use them with your child to help you talk about a variety of situations and to help you promote good mental health. These enable the child to have a chance to raise issues that you may otherwise find difficult to talk about or highlight different situations and ways to deal with them positively. Together, you can find ways to cope with difficult times, be thankful for the blessings and know the support you both need. However, it is normal what we are naturally feeling due to the circumstances we are in. It helps to make sense of and understand our current state. It also informs us of what kind of support we may need – self-care, confiding in people we trust, or professional support. The purpose of this worksheet is to focus on the possible resources we have and things we can do rather than the lack of control and things we can’t do. Switching the focus of your mind, you can reduce the vulnerability to stress and increase your ability to manage the stress. With this simple and effective tool, you can help and teach your child to figure out ways to cope with the stress. When they feel worried or overwhelmed having helpful coping strategies is crucial. It is also important to validate the child's need to cope, at the same time assess how effective their coping is. This tool can help them be more aware of which coping tools are effective and how they can adjust their coping to benefit them. By: Dr. Gulzar RazwaniIn Touch Volunteer, Contributing Writer Infographic by: Alyssa Dar JuanIntern Counselor
While many of us aspire to lead an expat life, it also comes with many hardships tagged along with its rewards and exposure. Living in an unknown environment away from loved ones, with no immediate support, is one of the biggest challenges especially in this time of crisis. COVID-19 pandemic has trembled almost the whole world without a timely warning causing ambiguity and confusion. Some expats returned to their home countries whereas others chose to stay behind in the location of their employment. Honestly, neither of the choices is safe nor foolproof for now.
Expats who chose to stay in their places of residence could consider the following practical recommendations to gear up against the inevitable upshots of the recent pandemic. By: AdélaÏde LefèvrePsychologist As an expat, living abroad and dealing with long distance families and close friends is part of your life. After some time, you have probably learned strategies on how to manage your emotions and feelings being away, specially from your older parents. In a normal situation, even if you are far away, you can feel safe and secure while thinking about your parents who are getting older because you know the medical and health system in your country and you can be confident that the situation is under control.
This time of COVID-19, things can be different. You can imagine your parents are more vulnerable and you can feel more emotional and anxious being far away from them. The long distance can appear longer! The loss of control and the difficulty to have a mental picture of the situation in each country can reinforce your feeling of insecurity. Moreover, the uncertainty about travel bans and the feeling of being stuck in your host country can cause more anxiety.
Here are some ideas and tips you can use to help you cope with this situation:
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