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Stuck at home? Anxious about an uncertain future? Worried about your family? The pandemic is a stressful and emotionally difficult situation for anyone to deal with. Read more to learn how to protect your family’s mental well-being during this unprecedented time.
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And what you can do to help your children cope well#InTouchStoriesofHopeBy: Joyce TalagMental Health Volunteer Since the enrollment season started in June, I have encountered many parents who are extremely worried about how their children will cope with the changes brought about by the COVID-19 pandemic. Online communities are ablaze with petitions for tuition fee reduction and mounting concerns on well-being and safety. Privately, parents open up about their fears and frustrations about the uncertainty of the situation. Emotions can run high during these times. I recently talked to Dr. Sue Estanislao, a counseling psychologist at In Touch Community Services, to seek solutions on behalf of parents like me who are caught up in the midst of a critical turning point in the global education system, and I was surprised by what she revealed to me in the beginning of our conversation. “Children are like their parents’ mirrors,” Dr. Sue explained. “They reflect how we respond to crisis.” Dr. Sue draws this conclusion from her nearly three decades of counseling experience and research as an academic service faculty at the De La Salle University Manila. According to her, children are generally more resilient than what adults give them credit for. They know how to cope through their own language and play; they can distract and soothe themselves. Because of the Internet, most children now are more informed and sensitive to what is going on around them. The latter includes the behaviors that their parents exhibit during this crisis, which children have the tendency to model. Dr. Sue alludes to a popular Filipino saying, “Ang maling gawain ng matatanda nagiging tama sa mga bata. (The mistakes committed by adults become right in the eyes of children.)” “But these are unusual times!” I told Dr. Sue. Parents are increasingly stressed having to work, tutor, and guide their children all at the same time while in quarantine. “The key is mindful parenting,” Dr. Sue replied citing mindfulnessexercises.com with a smile then walked me through a simple 5-step strategy for parents who are experiencing stressful situations now.
1 - STOP what you're thinking and doing
This needs no explaining. Just decide to stop and take a moment. 2 - BREATHE and focus on your body Breathe using the diaphragm, counting through four while inhaling and six while exhaling through the nose, and making three repetitions of the cycle. Another variation is the 4-7-8 breathing technique, which is to inhale for four counts, hold the breath for seven counts, and exhale for eight counts through the mouth in a whistle. (If you want to see how diaphragmatic works, look at this demo video by another In Touch counselor.) 3 - NOTICE what’s happening in your mind and body Observe the thoughts and sensations in your body since you stopped and started breathing. What emotions are you experiencing? Are these static or changing? 4 - REFLECT on your hotspots Some helpful questions to consider: a) What time of the day have you become emotionally unavailable to your children? b) What could be your emotional triggers to your reactions? Is there a story to the experience you are having? 5 - RESPOND accordingly and appropriately to the situation Using what you have learned about yourself and your situation in the last step, what would be the most appropriate way for you to respond? Make a conscious decision on how to respond. Living in borderless worlds where there are no longer boundaries in time, space, and the roles that parents have to perform can make parents become so reactive that they end up feeling exhausted. Practicing SBNRR technique on a regular basis until it becomes a habit may just be the key to guiding children through the COVID-19 crisis and the adjustments that everyone has to make.
#InTouchStoriesofHope aims to bring you mental and emotional relief during the COVID-19 pandemic through the inspiring stories and perspectives of In Touch community of counselors, volunteers, partners, and clients.
Dr. Susana “Sue” A. Estanislao is both a Registered Guidance Counselor and a Registered Psychologist. She has been in the counseling profession for nearly three decades now helping children, adolescents, and adults deal with life challenges and mental health conditions. During her 40 years of employment at the De La Salle University Manila, she served as a Counselor, Administrator, Counselor Supervisor, Assistant Researcher, Evaluation and Testing Coordinator, Consultant, and a Teaching Faculty. She is now connected with the San Pablo Colleges, Laguna and St. Scholastica’s College, Manila where she teaches Psychological Assessment, Counseling Theories, Psychotherapy, Group Dynamics, and related subjects. Her research work focuses on Managing Psychological Distress, Depression, Suicide Prevention, Resilience, Counseling and Career Development, among others. (Mental Health Worksheets for Parents to Support Children when Coping with Stress) By: Paula Diaz, Ivana MabunayChild Psychologists Infographics by: Alyssa Dar JuanIntern Counselor
This new normal may be giving parents more time at home but it can also be demanding for them in trying to balance work, child-care and self-care. It has now become a daily challenge to manage their own worries while keeping their children under control. Wouldn’t it be great to have simple helpful resources that parents can easily pull-out and work on with their children? Materials that can help parents to get their children more involved while teaching them important self-care and stress management techniques?
Here are fun activity sheets you can easily download and print out. These worksheets work best when you use them with your child to help you talk about a variety of situations and to help you promote good mental health. These enable the child to have a chance to raise issues that you may otherwise find difficult to talk about or highlight different situations and ways to deal with them positively. Together, you can find ways to cope with difficult times, be thankful for the blessings and know the support you both need. However, it is normal what we are naturally feeling due to the circumstances we are in. It helps to make sense of and understand our current state. It also informs us of what kind of support we may need – self-care, confiding in people we trust, or professional support. The purpose of this worksheet is to focus on the possible resources we have and things we can do rather than the lack of control and things we can’t do. Switching the focus of your mind, you can reduce the vulnerability to stress and increase your ability to manage the stress. With this simple and effective tool, you can help and teach your child to figure out ways to cope with the stress. When they feel worried or overwhelmed having helpful coping strategies is crucial. It is also important to validate the child's need to cope, at the same time assess how effective their coping is. This tool can help them be more aware of which coping tools are effective and how they can adjust their coping to benefit them. By: Dr. Gulzar RazwaniIn Touch Volunteer, Contributing Writer Infographic by: Alyssa Dar JuanIntern Counselor
While many of us aspire to lead an expat life, it also comes with many hardships tagged along with its rewards and exposure. Living in an unknown environment away from loved ones, with no immediate support, is one of the biggest challenges especially in this time of crisis. COVID-19 pandemic has trembled almost the whole world without a timely warning causing ambiguity and confusion. Some expats returned to their home countries whereas others chose to stay behind in the location of their employment. Honestly, neither of the choices is safe nor foolproof for now.
Expats who chose to stay in their places of residence could consider the following practical recommendations to gear up against the inevitable upshots of the recent pandemic. By: AdélaÏde LefèvrePsychologist As an expat, living abroad and dealing with long distance families and close friends is part of your life. After some time, you have probably learned strategies on how to manage your emotions and feelings being away, specially from your older parents. In a normal situation, even if you are far away, you can feel safe and secure while thinking about your parents who are getting older because you know the medical and health system in your country and you can be confident that the situation is under control.
This time of COVID-19, things can be different. You can imagine your parents are more vulnerable and you can feel more emotional and anxious being far away from them. The long distance can appear longer! The loss of control and the difficulty to have a mental picture of the situation in each country can reinforce your feeling of insecurity. Moreover, the uncertainty about travel bans and the feeling of being stuck in your host country can cause more anxiety.
Here are some ideas and tips you can use to help you cope with this situation:
By: Anne Dela Vina - CruzIntern Counselor By: Ms. Inge StrangeIntern Counselor
If you are a parent, helping your child to navigate their understanding of COVID may be on your mind right now. How do I explain this to my child? What should I share and what should I keep to myself? How can I help my child understand what is going on when I don’t have all the answers? Importantly, what we do and do not share with our children will impact how they process this situation.
Please use these reference storybooks found online to guide your discussions with your child. You can read one or both of them to your child, or just read them yourself to learn about how to explain COVID to a young child. While we may not have all of the answers, reading a book on a topic can definitely provide reassurance for a child as it gives the message that they have power in this situation and that they are not alone. Afterall, this challenge is big enough that someone wrote a book about it, and millions of other children around the world are reading the same story, too!
Published by Nosy Crow, you may download a copy of the book via https://nosycrowcoronavirus.s3-eu-west-1.amazonaws.com/Coronavirus_ABookForChildren.pdf
The Covibook is available to download for free via https://www.mindheart.co/descargables
By: Dr. Susana EstanislaoPsychologist |
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