Lockdown Life Lessons

#InTouchStoriesofHope

By: Julia Cope

In Touch Volunteer

Image: Canva

Why on earth did I choose the last day before the ECQ lockdown to go to Landmark Super?  It was the day when everyone (except me) knew that life was about to change significantly here in Manila.  I had a friend visiting me on her way to Europe and we had casually decided to pick up a few things. From the entrance, I gazed across the sea of humanity, pointlessly searched for a trolley or basket and then launched into the fray annoyed at my lack of planning.  Within minutes my calm demeanour slipped as I barked demands at my guest to “grab what she thought we might need”.  She was great and had a fun time chatting with people and laughing at me.  I played along with her good spirits but I was distressed.  It wasn’t so much panic buying as feeling foolish buying.  Why hadn’t I taken the situation a bit more seriously? 

Over the coming days there were more and more changes.  All the thoughtfully curated activities I had arranged for us fell like dominoes in my calendar.  Cancellations, postponements, apologies and commitments to “see you again soon” came through almost immediately and my spirits went with them.  Selfishly, I bristled as various rules and restrictions were imposed. I scanned the developments worldwide for a fast solution on the horizon but every place had their own theories and individual response.  If it were not for the escalating human toll, the social science of it was fascinating.  My own sense of responsibility kicked in after a brief visit to a local hospital demonstrated what no number of PSA’s could get across.  The situation was serious and my job was to listen to the directives and follow them without question. It was not all about me but I had my part to play as everyone did their best with the information available to them.  I reset my thinking to “Calm down and it will pass in time”.  But time did pass and we remain occupied by COVID19 indefinitely.  That life I had and was waiting to resume was gone with no sign of returning soon.  Now what?

Within minutes on that day in Landmark, my old life began a transformation.  Although I resisted the change at the beginning, as soon as I saw this as an opportunity for growth; positive changes emerged for me personally amongst the upheaval.

Image: Canva

​The central question for me was: Why do we do what we do? Some things are essential to life and do not need any further analysis while others are more complex to understand.  As I looked at all the components of my life I came to realise that some things were pure vanity.  Others were to make other people happy.  Some of them were just special to me and I wasn’t prepared to give them up (bookstores and coffee shops). Not all of them were nourishing to my soul and some were even questionable as to whether anyone benefited from them.  There was nothing wrong with what I did but some of it did not add value and occasionally brought unnecessary stress into my life. With my days limited, maybe my time could be put to better use.

The great gift of isolation has been the opportunity to reassess my life and edit the time vampires. So how do I determine what is or isn’t adding value?  I’ll illustrate with a few examples:

• A social life is about quality more than quantity (or don’t let FOMO rule your life). It’s ok to not go to everything.  Events and invitations are always welcome but not always the right thing for me at that time. Then there’s the traffic and transport stress that may mean arriving late or leaving early for the next thing and barely having time to really appreciate all the effort that has been invested by the host. The show will go on regardless and everyone benefits when I give my full attention to the events I choose to go to.  Less really is more.
• Health is Wealth. Although I am not able to participate in beloved group exercise classes that are fun and create community spirit; with discipline I can continue to work on my health regardless of the situation. In fact, the ability to exercise without being concerned about appearance, feeling competitive or lacking the same skills as others means I can concentrate on my progress.  The freedom to move in good health is denied to many so I should protect mine as a priority.
• Authentic and positive action. The best way for me to help others is to connect authentically with their needs and best interests.  I can’t help all people all of the time but surely I can help someone most of the time?  Sometimes helping is simply following a direction (“Wear your face mask!”) or it may be a gift to those who have been unemployed during the lockdown.  It could be that someone requires my time and attention to help them move through their journey. If I’m observant, I can always find a way to serve others meaningfully.
• No cancelled appointments! Those hairdressers and dentists that have been offline?  I am so looking forward to them taking my calls again. I would like the essential services category to be a little wider but you can’t always get what you want.  

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At the beginning of the pandemic we longed for things to “get back to normal”.  Over time, we have moved on to looking forward to a “new normal”.  When life is moving at a regular pace we barely notice how much it changes.  The sudden disruption worldwide has now been going on since early 2020 and we may never return to the good old days of last year. Dr Maxwell Maltz in 1960 wrote:

“These, and many other commonly observed phenomena, tend to show that it requires a minimum of about 21 days for an old mental image to dissolve and a new one to gel.”

We have far exceeded 21 days of this crisis and so our ideas, habits and lifestyles, even the way we remember our old lives, has changed.  We face a choice as we move forward whether to abandon our lockdown life lessons or adopt them long term. The good news is that we still have time to work on ourselves if we haven’t done so already.  The even better news is that when the storm has passed over us, we can continue to assess and edit our life based on our own personal criteria.  

So the real question is: What happened to my old life and do I really want it back again?

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#InTouchStoriesofHope aims to bring you mental and emotional relief during the COVID-19 pandemic through the inspiring stories and perspectives of In Touch community of counselors, volunteers, partners, and clients.
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Julia Cope has been living in Manila since August 2019 but has moved around Asia for the past 20 years including two previous postings to the Philippines, a place she loves dearly. Originally from the tourism and hospitality sector in Australia, she practices various health and wellness treatments. Julia volunteers with In Touch Community Services Foreign Liaison department.

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¹Maltz M. (1960). Psycho-cybernetics. New York, NY: Prentice Hall