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Love Through Active Listening

2/25/2023

Research by Alex Fojas
Volunteer

There are many ways to show you love and care for someone. Some choose to offer gifts, others prefer to spend quality time together, others show it better though verbalizing it and many more. One of the simplest, and possibly most important, act of love you can do to enrich your relationships is by Listening.

Andrea Piacquiado

WHAT IS ACTIVE LISTENING
One of the biggest communication problems we have is that we listen to reply, not listen to understand. This is where we draw the line between hearing and listening, and even in listening there’s a next level way to do it: active listening. How do you know it’s active listening, here are some examples:
Reacting Verbally or Non-verbally
Acknowledging what the person with a simple, “yes” or “mhm” lets them know that you’re listening. Even something as simple as nodding or raising your eyebrows helps to show you’re following.

Allowing Time to Listen and Time to Speak
What makes active listening different is that it ensures you and the other person are in a balanced communication. Make sure that you provide enough space for the other person to express themselves before sharing your sentiments.

Encouraging the person to share more by asking questions
Being asked more about what you’re sharing means there’s interest in what you’re saying. Let the other person explain further what they mean, and how they feel about it.

Be Truly Interested in the Conversation
Don’t be afraid to ask questions to clarify some things, or make comments to continue the conversation. Set aside other things you’re doing and give your time and energy to it, it will show.

Etienne Boulanger

HOW ACTIVE LISTENING AFFECTS YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
With every conversation we have, especially deep ones, with our loved ones is a chance to better understand each other and connect. Actively listening to your friend, family or partner creates a stronger understanding between you and them. It helps you to:

See the Situation in Another Perspective
When working with a depressed loved one (for example), one should recognize that some part of this bleak, social landscape is created through their interpretations of events. Paying attention helps them to rehabilitate their interpretations of those events and process their thoughts and feelings about it.

See Your Own Self through a Different View
Remaining neutral and non-judgmental in your responses enables the other person to feel comfortable with sharing their thoughts. It also allows you to see yourself in a different light, discovering your capacity for patience and understanding. Active listening also includes a certain level of self-acknowledgement.

Form a Safe Space Between You and Them
Active listening makes the conversation a safe zone where your loved one can trust that they won't be shamed, criticized, blamed, or otherwise negatively received. It will help to adjust your communication style to meet your loved one’s needs. This will make them feel accepted, acceptance isn’t necessarily the same thing as agreement; it can be enough to simply make eye contact and say, “Yes, I hear what you are saying.” Those who feel that their loved ones are listening to them and taking them seriously are more likely to be receptive to care.

Build Trust with Each Other
In addition to the higher levels of well-being associated with such positive interactions, discussing positive interactions with a loved one may help capitalize on their experience. Those who are actively encouraging and supportive when listening to their loved ones relate their positive social experience further enhance the relationship experience..

Matheus Ferrero

HOW ACTIVE LISTENING AFFECTS YOU
The focus of active listening on hearing the whole message means you’re engaged on a higher level with the speaker, which allows you to absorb more specific details from the interaction. For example, if you’re receiving instructions or training, you’ll be able to recall the details more easily.

Enables You To Identify or Anticipate Problems
You’re allowing yourself to develop an entire sense of the problem and evaluate all the different aspects, based on the details you hear. This can help you to discover a potentially underlying problem and tackle an issue at its very root, instead of merely curing symptoms and then seeing the problem re-emerge later.

Empowers You as a Leader
Active listening is empowering, and empowerment builds confidence. By listening actively, you gain an understanding of what will be beneficial in the workplace, which expands your perspective and empowers you. You’ll become more aware of what’s happening in your workplace, and you’ll communicate with superiors and subordinates much better. All of this paves the way for you to lead with confidence.

Makes you a problem-solver
Active listening is very important in the workplace and within educational settings. To be able to properly problem-solve and achieve outcomes that all parties feel satisfied with, you need to actively listen to the problems that are being faced. That way, you can address all needs to find the optimal solution.

References:

Tips for Online Students, Tips for Students: Why Is Active Listening Important for Your Success retrieved from https://www.uopeople.edu/blog/why-is-active-listening-important/
What are the Benefits of Active Listening? (2021). Retrieved from https://www.inpd.co.uk/blog/benefits-of-active-listening
Active Listening (2016). Office of the Ombuds. Retrieved from https://www.bumc.bu.edu/facdev-medicine/files/2016/10/Active-Listening-Handout
Watanuki MF, Tracy R, Lindquist R. Therapeutic listening. In: Tracy R, Lindquist R. Complementary alternative therapies in nursing. New York: Springer; 2006. p. 45-55.
Gable SL, Reis HT, Impett EA, Asher ER. To whom do you turn when things go right? The intrapersonal and interpersonal benefits of sharing positive events. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 2004;87:228–245.
Hollon SD, Thase ME, Markowitz JC. Treatment and prevention of depression. Psychological Science in the Public Interest. 2002;3:39–77.
Cuncic, A. (2022). What Is Active Listening? Retrieved from: https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-active-listening-3024343
Smith, L. L. (2018, June 12). Strategies for effective patient communication. American Nurse. https://www.myamericannurse.com/strategies-for-effective-patient-communication/

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Empathy as an Act of Kindness

2/17/2023

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Jeremy Jonathan Garcia
Intern

Empathy is the ability to emotionally feel what other people are feeling, see things from their point of view, and put yourself in their shoes. This is very similar to the concept of sympathy, but there are some significant differences. Sympathy, derived from the Greek words sym and pathos, means to share another's feelings. This is seen when people share an experience in which they feel the same emotions, such as when grieving for someone close to both of you. Empathy, on the other hand, does not require a shared or similar experience; rather, it is the ability to understand the perspective of another, even if you have never lived their experience.

photo by alex green

Empathy has several benefits. With empathy, you become better at understanding of the needs of those around you and the motivations behind their actions. This eventually leads to a second benefit: empathy helps us in controlling our anger toward other people. When we start examining people and trying to understand their point of view, it often becomes abundantly clear how they came to make the decisions or hold the beliefs that they do. Empathy, for example, would lead you to realize that, rather than being angry with someone who is mean to everyone, they may have had a difficult childhood and, as a result, act in this manner. This would often transform your rage into compassion for them. Helping friends work through their emotions, on the other hand, can be a great way to use empathy. Some people simply need someone to listen to them without offering a solution. It may be more beneficial to express empathy for someone's situation rather than offer solutions.

Then, how do you approach people with empathy? There are a few things you should keep in mind when attempting to respond to someone with empathy. The first is reflecting, which entails listening intently to what the other person is saying while precisely summarizing it in your own words. A second way to demonstrate empathy is an empathetic response or a statement that demonstrates your understanding of what leads them to feel how they currently do. Last but not least, you must name or identify the emotions that you are seeing in them. Here's an illustration of an empathic response to someone.

Friend: I am sad that I can’t go to the party since my parents won’t allow me to go.
You: It sounds like you were really excited to go to the party but your parents won’t let you. (reflecting). That must be difficult (empathetic response). You must be feeling really disappointed (emotion identification).
This is a simple framework that you can use to practice being more empathetic with others.

It may be a simple and small gesture, but showing empathy to another person is an act of kindness that will be greatly appreciated. It’s a skill that can be learned, so when you are able to try to practice this framework at least once with a loved one or even a hypothetical situation.

References:
What Is Empathy - https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-empathy-2795562
Difference Between Sympathy and Empathy: https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/sympathy-empathy-difference

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Love Through Active Listening

Research by Alex Fojas
Volunteer

Empathy as an Act of Kindness

Jeremy Jonathan Garcia
Intern

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Love Through Active Listening

Research by Alex FojasVolunteer

Empathy as an Act of Kindness

Jeremy Jonathan GarciaIntern

Archives

Categories

​For any immediate or in-the-moment emotional support, call our 24/7 CRISIS LINE.​​Our trained responders are on standby to assist you.

Research by Alex Fojas
Volunteer

Jeremy Jonathan Garcia
Intern

For any immediate or in-the-moment emotional support, call our 24/7 CRISIS LINE.

Our trained responders are on standby to assist you.